"Choosing Sterilization: My Decision to Pursue Surgery"

My name is Taylor. I’m 33 years old, and I’m undergoing a bilateral salpingectomy as a form of permanent birth control. I work in an IVF clinic. I understand some people want kids, need to have kids. I love my job helping other couples achieve this goal, but I’ve professed since I was 7 or 8 years old that having kids was not for me. When I was 16, my monthly cycle started making me miserably ill. I would be stuck sick in the bathroom for days. I missed so much school my mom decided to take me to the doctor. After an ultrasound to look for ovarian cysts that came back normal, I was put on birth control pills and no one ever questioned it again. That was 17 years ago. I haven’t had some of the more severe side effects other women encounter, and I’m grateful for that. But the stress of remembering to take the pill every single day, the deep fear I would feel if I took one late, the breakthrough bleeding that would last for weeks finally took its toll. I’d been taking a pill every day for 17 years, and the prospect of taking one every day for 17 more seemed unbearable just to prevent an outcome I’ve known my whole life I didn’t want. That, along with the revocation of pivotal women’s reproductive rights spurred me to start making appointments. As of now, federal law requires insurance to cover voluntary sterilization at 100%. I didn’t want to wait for them to overturn that, too. Another, more vain reason is weight loss. I don’t believe my hormonal birth control caused weight gain, but I do believe it makes it harder for me to lose weight despite consistent efforts at the gym. Why would your body easily part with fat if it thinks you’re pregnant? I’ve had horrible anxiety and depression since my teens, which I later correlated with about when I started the pill. The pill and my anxiety medication have decimated my sex drive. I’m very curious to see if coming off hormonal contraceptives improves my mental health. I’m excited for the surgery but also nervous. I, in theory, haven’t ovulated in 17 years. My body hasn’t cycled hormones the way it should. I’m worried my periods will come back worse than ever once they’re uncontrolled. I’m worried my skin will go haywire and I’ll have pubescent-style breakouts. I haven’t told my family about my choice, because I know they would react negatively. My fiancé has been endlessly supportive. I’m going to chronicle my experience in hopes it helps someone like me in the future. From the initial consult to the post-op healing, I’ll try not to spare any details.